Smack Dab in the middle of God's will.

I am telling you what, God never ceases to amaze me! I have been really caught up in, intrigued if you will, by the book of Esther lately. I have no idea why? I am praying daily that God speaks to me on what He wants me to get out of this book in the Bible. I know that sometimes I look back over my life, and at the time certain things were going on, I was asking God, why is this happening. What have I done for me to have to go through this, or what is it You are trying to tell me God? I think we all tend to do this sometimes. Now though, I can look back and see where God was working in my life, to get me to where I am today. The whole time I have been reading through the book of Esther, I have been wondering, did she know she was in the center of God's will, or was it merely a matter of her being available for God to use her. I may never know, but here are my thoughts I will leave you with. I know that God has a plan for my life. I also know that no matter what I may do, God's plan will see it's way through. When I was a seventeen God called me into His ministry, and I did what so many others do, I ran from His calling. I entered into a backsliden state, and if you had of known me back then, you would have never known me to be a follower of Christ. It took me 11 years before I actually threw up my hands and said here I am God, use me. Boy has he. I have been involved in 3 church ministries since then, and all the while I feel that God was preparing me for serving in this church. The point of all this is, that Esther, I feel, didn't know what God was preparing for her to do, but by her being available, she was placed in a position to save an entire race of people, her people, God's chosen people, the Jews. Wow. I want to be that available too.......